terça-feira, 18 de janeiro de 2011

Your song.

When I was fourteen, I wrote a love song for you. And, thinking now, ironically, every time you did something that made me happy or sad, I would sing it, at least once. Probably on the shower.
There is not really a reason for me to be telling you this. Truth to be told, the fact is, as time goes by, I see another thing I would do constantly because of you and that I would have never noticed before, and that is the only memorie I have of being in love.
I was actually hurt most of the time I had feelings for you, but the real reason for that is now gone, since the only thing that stayed with me was the fact that, at one point, I truly loved you. Loved you the way I couldn't confess when my sister asked if I had really gone that far with my feelings for you. Loved you the way I would feel happy with you just being near. Loved you like a girl would hope to love a boy.
As Summer would say, life happens and like M. would tell me, people lose themselves. All people. Always. And it's true, no matter what others want to prove you, it just happens. Even so, as I was looking for a necklace the other day, I found a bunch of old papers, all together. There, in the middle of it all, was your song. And in that moment, reading it all over again, laughing at some points and remembering, I realised that, no matter where life takes us, no matter how much life actually happens, every once in a while, we catch ourselves finding something, or hearing a music, or feeling a smell that bring us back something we tought we would never again remember or taste. Its inside of you, its part of you and what you were, and what you can go back to be if you have to.
Your song keeps the past you alive. Keeps all of you alive, even the things I didn't like. Your song remembers me that I can be in love and the things I am able to feel. Your song made me realise that love is not something you rush and it will most likely never make sense. Your song reminds me of what it is to be fifteen and to be in love. Your song keeps what you meant alive inside of me, even if only as a memorie.
Your song was a call to see that, even if we lose ourselves, not everything stays behind.

" Cause every beat is a memorie I should forget..."

Ironic, isn't it?

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