segunda-feira, 4 de abril de 2011

  You couldn't remember seeing a clearer sky. It was blue like nothing you would ever notice before, enough to keep all together, whatever all was. The wind was hitting your face softly, as if to remind you were still there. It was strange, you noticed while you walked, everything was still the same. Even felt like being the same. It seemed like there had been no change, except for the fact it had. A big change, actually.
Looking back, that right now change could have hurt like nothing you had ever felt before, if you were younger. Your younger self would have tried anything to go back, so nothing would be different. Your younger self would not settle with that situation. But you weren't your younger self. And you lived that before. And you looked on those years and realised all you should have done and didn't. All you should have said and didn't. But, also, everything you shouldn't have done and did it, anyway. How could so much time pass by and, no matter how many years you saw go by, you still saw the past like if had just happened? Like a recent yesterday.
You had been walking for an hour when you finally found him.
He was in a really old bench, staring intently to his shoes.
As he began to trail his eyes along the ground and it finally landed on your shoes, you saw his eyes follow all the draw of your body, until it finally met your eyes. You wanted to go there. You wanted to hug him. You wanted to hold onto that recent yesterday, you wanted to tell to screw tomorrow and being the grown up. You wanted to tell him about what was happening, you wanted to hear his voice, you wanted for him to tell you what to do and how he would always stand up for you, even when you couldn't stand up for yourself.
But you didn't.
You just stared at each other, like old friends who simply didn't have anything else to tell one another.
And he smiled at you. And you smiled back.
And as you waved, saying goodbye, thinking how you would always remember his eyes, you felt everything would be okay.
You would be okay.
With or without someone you didn't want to see leaving you, some moments would never be lost. And you would find yourself, eventually, understanding that, sometimes, being alone, no matter what was the situation, was after all, the best situation.
Your best situation.
Missing someone was just part of the situation.

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