It was always this whole cicle with me.
Me and Boy. Boy is funny. Boy is my friend. Boy is my best friend. Boy sends me a kiss. I can't send it back. I don't show my feelings. I don't know how. When I do so, I feel silly. Boy makes me laugh. Boy laughs at my attempt of making a good joke. I smile when I see his smile. I laugh when I hear his laugh. Boy hugs me. I hug him back. Boy holds me tight. I feel safe.
Boy don't talk so much anymore. Boy don't come look for me anymore. Boy don't make me laugh anymore. Boy don't give me hugs anymore. Boy comes talk to me to ask about something he needs. I answer. Boy sits next to me. I talk to boy for hours. Boy laughs because I fell. Boy makes a joke. I tease him. I think everything is back to normal. Boy treats me different. Boy starts do become a stranger. I try to talk to boy. I don't know how. Boy let go. I wonder if boy misses me too. Boy become only a person I know. I get mad. I get hurt. I realise I am in love with the boy. Boy is in love with another girl. I cut him out of my life. I become part of the group boy makes fun of. I start disliking the boy. Boy becomes a playboy. Boy don't smile the way he used to anymore. I don't laugh at his jokes anymore. Boy changes. I change. Me and Boy become only two people who are in the same space. Boy is not who he used to be anymore. I am not who I used to be anymore. Boy hurts me again. I don't show it. I start to hate the boy. I try to hate him. I finally let go. I realise I actually loved that boy. Boy becomes an old memory. Boy is a bitter and good old memory altogether. I meet a new boy.
“I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know.”